Friday, November 20th, 2009

I'm home in pain yet again. I currently have a few boils draining on my thighs, and a bunch of swollen ones as well. I can't put a bra on, I have too many swollen spots. I have now missed 8 days of work. It feels like it's never going to get better, and I've gotten pretty scared. Laundry needs to be done, as well as vacuuming and I have to wait until I'm high on pain killers to halfway function. I spoke with the HR lady today at work and apparently they want more FMLA paperwork because the quantity of flare ups has increased from when I turned in the paperwork... so pretty much they're trying to get me to quit, or fire me some way or another. I'm so disappointed in my employer and there lack of support. I'm also pissed off about being in the grey area when it comes to short-term disability and how hard it is going to be for me to get on actual disability. Hence why I have started documenting in this online journal and also taking pictures.. which I hate, because the last thing I want is to look at how ugly this disease has made me feel. Luckily I have the support of my fiance with this disease and he has been more than supportive, he's been the one that keeps me going when I feel like giving up. This disease has taken so many things away from me and I hate it. I want to be able to work, wear clothes without worrying about staining or covering my scars, making sure they aren't too tight, but too big is bad too. I just want to find a way to control this disease and maybe venting will help me.